You’ve most likely heard the term “Co-Dependency”. However, I’m sure you haven’t taken the time to learn what it really is. In this article, you’ll learn some deeper truths about Co-Dependency and how it negatively affects you.
You’ll also learn the 21 signs of Co-Dependency which will show whether you have tendencies of it or not!
What is Co-Dependency?
Co-Dependency is energy “vampiring” or pulling energy from other people in various ways, and this is very common in the planet, especially in relationships and families.
Over 90% of relationships for example are co-dependent. The problem is, most people don’t even realize it! However, there’s a deeper reason people can tend to be co-dependent.
How Co-Dependency’s Created
It stems from the lack of self-love, from failing to grant worthiness to yourself, hence needing the approval from someone else. Needing their love to prove self-worth becomes dramatic games of extracting love and energy from them.
On another level, it is dominance and control issues because if someone else is responsible for your happiness, your subconscious will feel that as a loss of personal power.
So controlling the person who is responsible for your happiness generates, quite naturally, a lot of drama! Now that we’ve covered more in-depth about Co-Dependency, we’re going to go over the 21 symptoms of Co-Dependency which may show if you’re being co-dependent or not!
21 Signs of Co-Dependency
1. You make someone else responsible for your happiness
2. Your good feelings about who you are stem from being liked by someone else
3. Your good feelings about who you are stem from receiving approval from someone else
4. Someone else’s struggles affects your serenity
5. Your mental attention focuses on solving someone else’s problems or relieving their pain (Martyr)
6. Your mental attention is focused on pleasing others
7. Your mental attention is focused on protecting others
8. Your mental attention is focused on manipulating people to “do it your way”
9. Your self-esteem is bolstered by relieving someone’s pain
10. You give up your own interests, hobbies and dreams to be involved in someone else’s dreams.
11. Someone else’s clothing and personal appearance is dictated by your desires as you feel they’re a reflection of you
12. Someone else’s behaviour is dictated by your desires as you feel they’re a reflection of you
13. You’re not aware of how you feel or what you want, you ask someone else what they want, rather than focusing on what you desire.
14. The dreams you have for the future are linked for someone else
15. Your fear of rejection determines what you say and do
16. Your fear of someone else’s anger determines what you say and do
17. You use giving as a way of feeling safe in your relationships
18. Your social circle diminished as you got involved in a relationship with someone
19. You put your own values aside in order to connect with someone
20. You value someone else’s opinion and way of doing things more than you do your own
21. The quality of your life is in relation to the quality of someone else’s
Pretty heavy right?! Funnily enough, I had quite a bit of these symptoms until I cleared them and dealt with everything.
How To Deal With Co-Dependency
There are a number of actions you must take to get rid of co-dependency. Let’s take a look.
1. Co-dependency can be one of the hardest things to deal with since many people struggle letting go. However, by granting worthiness to yourself, lots of self-love and dealing with any wounds you have around abandonment will massively help!
2. Make sure you’re not trying to do certain things or act a certain way unaligned with your higher self just for the sake of proving self-worth.
3. Don’t allow anyone to be victims around you, leach off your energy and most importantly, ensure you’re not playing the Martyr (Rescuer).
For example, let’s say one of your friends or family members are being very negative and complaining about their finances, people from work, their health etc. and you feel bad then start taking on their energy and trying to jump in to rescue/heal them, that’s co-dependency.
This is because you’re allowing them to suck off your energy while you try to jump in and rescue them. Once you realize it’s not your job to heal everyone, you drop the “Martyr”.
At the same time, don’t fall victim when something negative happens to you, nor try to leech off someone else’s energy
For example, let’s say your health has dropped off a bit for the past few weeks, and you then start complaining about how bad it is, putting your stuff on other people etc. the problem is, not only are you relying on someone outside of you for energy, but it’s also pulling energy from that person.
Read our “Drama Triangle” article to start gaining more clarity on your true independent self.
If you’re keen to break any co-dependency within you, and know it’s a BIG problem in your life…
Book a free 30-minute Discovery Call with our team to discuss your situation, uncover the blockages or dark energies silently holding you back, and learn to breakthrough these restrictions to achieve the life you truly desire.